When I was a little kid, I assumed the world was split 50-50, Jews and Christians. If you weren't born into a Jewish family, you were a Christian. When I got a little older, I learned that there were more than just the two religions and that Judaism was a reeeeeal small slice of the pie!
Anyway, even though I learned that there were more religions than just the two, the idea that you were born into your religion never really escaped me. In my eyes, religion wasn't really a faith, it was much closer to a race. Your life didn't hafta reflect your religion at all, it's just what you were. I was born Jewish. I would be and will be Jewish for the rest of my life because Judaism is not just a faith, it's in my blood. It seemed to be the same with Christianity. My friends were Christians no matter what. They went to CCD and church on Christmas and Easter and that was it. It didn't matter whether they believed Jesus came and died for their sins or thought He was as real as Santa!
What I'm trying to say is that it seemed like if people weren't something else, they were Christian. In my small little town growing up, being a Christian meant not being Jewish. In my head, there were two kinds of Christians. The ones I knew, and the crazy evangelical ones. My friends at school, who used the title "Christian" didn't reflect Christ-like behaviors. Drinking, drug use, and sex were common things among my Christian friends at school and I didn't know any of the "Bible-thumpers".
But now I've come to question: What is Christianity without Christ? Doesn't the title "Christian" mean to be a follower of Christ? How can we call ourselves Christians and not believe Christ died for our sins? How can we call ourselves Christians and not believe in sin or that the Bible is God's word? How can we call ourselves Christians and not believe that Christ is Lord?!
We tend to enjoy categories (I think maybe even especially in America) so we all hafta be able to check off a certain "religion box" in our minds. So we're holding a mental piece of paper with our options: Jewish ____ Muslim ____ Buddhist ____ Hindu ____ Atheist ____ Christian ____
And we think, "Well, I'm not Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, or atheist. I guess I'm a Christian!" But it doesn't really work like that. You can't be a Christian by default. You're a Christian by a faith that Jesus is Lord and that He came and died and rose again and only through Him and Him alone can we be made righteous and see the Father in heaven.
Ok, so the topic's been out for a while and I feel like everyone's been looking to me to comment so it's time I put the statement out. I like Twilight. Wow! It feels good to really get that off my chest. There's actually more. I like Harry Potter too. I've read them all. I've seen all the movies for both series (to date). I know the question on all of your hearts. Yes, I'm team Edward. (Actually I'm REALLY team Emmet)
So why am I telling you this? Because this past Sunday at church, Pastor Mark TORE Twilight a new one. I mean he really ripped it to shreds. I laughed and all because he was stinkin' hilarious but when he talked about a 108 year old vampire marrying a 17 year old girl, I admit my first thought was to raise my hand and inform him that she was actually 18.
But here's the thing: I'm not addicted. I enjoy the books, I enjoy the movies. They entertain me. I do not idolize the books. I simply enjoy them. Furthermore, I do not, nor have I ever, thought for one second that the books were real. I've never believed that vampires or werewolves are real. I am able to recognize that this book is fiction and that romance isn't really like this.
Same with Harry Potter. Love the books! Loved em when I read em as they came out, loved em again this past year when I re-read them! I like the movies (although not as much as the books...but enough to enjoy a 15-hour movie marathon with my roommates, Cheryl & Katie one night). However, I'm not addicted. I've never been inspired to attempt sorcery. Not even when I read the first book when I was 7 did I consider attempting magic. As a 7 year old, I was STILL able to differentiate between reality and fiction!
So what's everyone's deal?? I've heard so many people bashing these two series as if they gave instructions to children on how to make meth at home. I mean, they're books. I don't think the problem is in the books! I think that if you, as a parent, haven't instructed your child on the differences between what's real life and what's fiction or that they shouldn't be practicing sorcery, that's on you! But don't try to make me feel bad for enjoying these books, because I DO understand the differences.
Hot dog! Who knew I felt so passionately? But for realz, if you don't like the books, that's cool. You don't hafta. I bet you have bad taste in a lotta books that I'm not interested in. It happens. But really, this doesn't hafta be a moral/Christian debate.
Aight, that's it. Gimme your thoughts and lemme know...Edward or Jacob?
This is coming straight from my journal (which I RARELY ever share anything I write in my journal so this is quite the honor to any of my readers).
"But man, despite his riches, does not endure; he is like the beasts that perish. This is the fate of those who trust in themselves, and of their followers, who approve their sayings. Like sheep, they are destined for the grave, and death will feed on them." (Psalm 49:12-14a)
Money cannot save us. Only Jesus can save us. I am sinful and broken. Therefore, how can I expect to lead myself to goodness and righteousness? Sin produces more sin. I can only lead myself to more sin and destruction. I need something perfect to lead me to goodness. I need the Holy Spirit to lead me to goodness because it is the only light in all of my darkness.
That's it. Shortest post to date but it's just soooo true!
Can I be honest with ya'll right now? Three years ago, this is what I thought all Christians were like:
I literally thought that Christianity was for people who were crazy, missing teeth, ignorant, hillbillies, racists, über-conservatives, republicans, and/or homophobes. I actually thought that Westboro Baptist Church (http://www.godhatesfags.com/) reflected the shared belief of all Christians. (Just to be clear, WBC is not associated with any other church in the world. I disagree with 99.9% of what they believe as do all Christians who believe what the Bible says)
But then my mind got BLOWN! I met a Christian and to my great surprise, she had teeth! And they were STRAIGHT! Also, she was cool. She wasn't weird at all. She enjoyed "normal" things, "normal" music, sports, she wasn't a hillbilly OR a racist! She wasn't even a homophobe! All my original concepts of what Christians were were ruined. Then ya know what I discovered? She wasn't the only Christian like this!
I learned that Christians listen to more than just hymns. Like this guy: His name is Lecrae and he's a sick rapper and he LOVES Jesus!!! All his music is focused on Christ.
The more I learned about the Bible and Christians, the more I learned that the faith is based on love. Yes, there are people who label themselves as Christians but don't love others as Christ taught us to love. There are always people who misrepresent a group and it's REALLY unfortunate.
This wasn't my original intention when I began this post but now that it's come up, I wanna remind my Christian amigos to take that label of being a Christian VERY seriously. You represent more than just yourself, friend. You represent our entire faith and our Savior! That's definitely not something to take lightly so please don't just throw the term "Christian" around as if it carries no weight.
Anyway, the point is I realized something. Christians are actually pretty cool. Not all of them. Some are still kinda weird. I've definitely met my share of socially awkward Christians. But I've also met WAY more really cool Christians. That listen to cool music and play sports and like fashion and have great senses of humor. And guess what! I voted for Obama. I helped on his campaign. And I didn't get kicked outta Christianity. Apparently it's acceptable to be a democrat. Christians are diverse so don't watch tv and see some weeeeeeird Christian who wears a black dress everyday with a collar and black cloggy lookin shoes and can't come out in the sunlight for fear of melting and be like "Yea, all Christians are like that." Believe it or not, sometimes television misrepresents and stereotypes Christians.
So if you don't wanna be a Christian because you're a democrat or because you think they're outta touch with modern culture or somethin (stupid-sorry) like that, you MIGHT wanna reconsider. I'm listening to M.I.A. right now that's ok with Jesus!
I also wanted to note what I meant by homophobe. Yes, I believe homosexuality is a sin just like lying or murdering or stealing or lusting, or sex outside of marriage. Hating the sin is not homophobic. Hating the PERSON is homophobic and a sin. I have many friends who are gay and I love them dearly.
So the other night, it was me and Fındık alone in the kitchen (she ALWAYS follows me there). So she was being so cute, I leaned down to kiss her snout. Well she completely misread my intentions and went to lick me when I kissed her. LUCKILY, I was able to dodge the bullet but now we had a clearly awkward situation on our hands. Apparently Fındık had feelings for me.
Well it was too late to pretend it hadn't happened. We HAD to talk about it now. So I sat her down and tried to explain to her that I DID love her, I just wasn't IN love with her. First, I reminded her, she's only 5 years old and I am 20! It would be inappropriate to say the least. Secondly, she's a girl. Thirdly, (and some of you may not understand this) but she has brown eyes. That's taking a risk that our children would have brown eyes and contaminate my gene pool. (If you didn't know this about me, I have GREAT eyes, true story!) (kinda small but you can tell)
Lastly, she's a dog. That also might mess up my genes. I think it would.
Sadly, even after explaining all this to her and reminding her that it wasn't her, it was me, she turned her back on me and walked (sulked) away. It was sad. Horrible way to ruin a great friendship. During dinner, she wouldn't even sit near me. She begged from everyone else (a sorry attempt to make me jealous. It just made me sad for her.) Eventually, our relationship has been reconciled and I'm able to scratch her belly like the good ol days but now, I make sure to preface it with a reminder that I see her only as a friend.
By the way, in case you were wondering, yes, I WOULD make an exception to my rules for Fıstık. THAT'S true love. Gah, look at the dog!!! Whatta stinkin' handsome monkey, he is! Hunky dog :)
Oh, hope there was no confusion. This post has nothing to do with Christianity. Just throwin ya'll a twist!
So many of you might know that I'm a nanny this summer out in Seattle for my two wonderful twin cousins, Elif and Jemre, who are just about to hit the 4 month old mark. These babies are great. People, you may THINK that your babies are/were the cutest but sadly, I have news for you. Elif and Jemre are the CUTEST babies. In the world. I love em I love em I love them!!! Not only are the adorable but they, these tiny three and a half month old babies teach me! They're just that great. So here's my lesson from Elif:
The other afternoon, I was trying to put Elif down for a nap. Elif was very very sleepy, it'd been about two hours since her last nap (wish I got to sleep every 2 hours, by the way!) and she was FUSSY! Now, I know exactly how to make Elif fall asleep. She likes me to hold her and listen to country (yep, I sing along- that's her favorite part) and we sway to that deliciously wonderful music.
But see, here's the thing. Elif wants to try everything wrong to make herself sleep. She opens her eyes as wide as possible, she kicks her feet, tries to eat her hands (she LOVES sucking her fingers) and does pretty much the opposite of what you should. The funny thing is all she has to do is relax and let ME do the work. I can do it all for her. I know just how to comfort her and all she has to do is trust that I'll do it. I wish she'd learn to submit. I wish she'd just learn to relax and let me be her comfort.
I bet God thinks the same things sometimes. I wonder if He's ever sitting up in heaven thinking "Wow. Stop kicking and pushing and trying to find your own way! Just relax here in my perfect arms and I'll do it all for you." That's really all there is. When we just say "Okay, I give in. I'm not going to try and do this my own way because it's just not working," that's when we can finally have peace. Real peace. Not peace as in "Great! I have a good job and won't have to worry about money for the rest of my life." I mean REAL peace.
You know that feeling when you're sitting on the beach at sunsetand it's just you and your friend or spouse or someone you care greatly for or you're even just alone but you can finally relax? Then you take that deep breath and exhale out and it's like your worries just got exhaled? You know that feeling I'm talking about? That's NOTHING compared to the feeling of relaxing in God's arms. There's something inexplicably peaceful and comforting in the words "Okay, God. I give up fighting You. I want Your way to be my way. I'm following You now."
Oftentimes I'm asked by a friend or relative "How can you believe that God hates non Christians?" or "If God's omnipotent and all-loving, why can't He accept me as I am and overlook my sin?" This leads me to think that a lot of people have a very skewed idea of what the gospel is all about or have never actually heard it and are doing the best they can based on a few things they've heard a a lot of lies. So I want to use this post to do my best to set the story straight.
Pre-Jesus Stuff: We screwed up. You may have heard of Adam and Eve. Well God told them not to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil because it would kill them (Gen. 2:17). And what did the do? They ate from it (Gen. 3:6). They disobeyed a direct order from God. This is known as sin. Adam's sin was passed down from generation to generation. Not one person in the history of man has been able to spend even just one lifetime without sinning...until Jesus...but we'll get back to Him. So we realize that sin will cause death as we saw in Genesis but also in Romans 6:23, "The wages of sin is death." So in essence, if we do wrong (which includes thinking wrong- if we lust in our hearts, we've committed adultery in our hearts which is still sin), if we disobey God's commandments, we will be separated from God. Eternally.
So to have their sins forgiven, the people of ancient Israel (of the Old Testament)had to repent (repent means to turn away from sin) and offer a perfect sacrifice that God would accept to replace the sin. A friend phrased it like this: "What is needed for the forgiveness of sins? In short, the penalty for sin must be paid. What is this penalty? Death and the wrath of God. The eternal destiny for those who reject Christ is this: to stand before God on the judgment day (Revelation 20:11-15) and be cast into an everlasting lake of fire."
Jesus Stuff: A little over 2,000 years ago, God sent His Son to earth. He lived a perfect life, never sinning. Finally, He was crucified, but not before He told us "I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life, no ones comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6) He also said "Repent and believe the gospel."(Mark 1:15)
Jesus' crucifixion was His sacrifice for us. A great exchange happened when Christ died on the cross. He died and took our sin, and we receive His righteousness. Only by the righteousness of Jesus will any man be able to stand in the judgment and be declared not only innocent, but righteous. In other words, instead of performing sacrifices and trying to "fix ourselves" (stop sinning by sheer will power), He was our sacrifice for all past, present, and future sins. Only when we place our faith in Christ, when we believe that he is able to save us from our sins, give us the Holy Spirit, and change our lives, only then is real change is possible. Only with Christ. When he changes our hearts, we believe in Him and follow His teaching.His salvation is free. Jesus had some magnificent claims that he made and his followers reiterate. We must conclude that he is either a liar, a lunatic, or the Lord. God is calling all people everywhere to repent (Acts 17:30). Turn from your sin and trust in Christ.
So I know that was a lot to take in and I wish I could write more. If you didn't follow all that (and it's okay if you didn't, it sometimes takes a while to take it all in, took me about a year!)then here's the thing I really want you to get from it. We all do bad stuff- we lie, we cheat, it's our nature and it's called sin. Sin is punished with separation from God forever (that's what hell is, it's separation from God). God CAN'T overlook our sin and "pretend" it didn't happen because He's perfectly just! Thirdly, Jesus died to pay the price of our sin so that we would be cleaned of it all. He loves EVERYONE and wants everyone to love Him back. He shows NO partiality ever (discrimination is purely human and purely sinful).
What I've found is that the more you come to know Jesus and recognize His overwhelming love for you, you can't help responding in love back to Him. Turning away from sin starts to feel more natural. You WANT to follow Him because you start to love Him so much!
Two very last things, promise! 1) Seriously, if you have ANY questions or comments on anything I've written, please please please email me, comment on this, text me (if you have my number of course)! I know I left out a lotta stuff like all the miracles performed and I love talking about it (thus the blog) so please, do not hesitate, even if you only wanna criticize me. I'll accept that too. And 2) I want to give a special thanks to a friend that helped me write this and put my thoughts into words. Friend, you know who you are, thanks for being awesome. You are a man after God's heart and I love that!
So this morning, I had a realization. I was eating breakfast (eggs and a baguette with some nutella on it- pretty much the same as always) and my dog, Fındık, wanted in. Now she does this every day for every meal. She could be upstairs asleep and she hears a fork downstairs and hustles to the table as fast as her chubby body can get her there. She's mastered the art of begging. She paws at my leg, lays her head on my lap and looks up at me with those big sad puppy eyes. She has a gift. But Fındık is on a diet so I don't give her any "people food". No matter how many times she follows me back and forth from the dining room to the kitchen or cries or licks my hand, I know better than she does and I don't give her anything. I also know that nutella has chocolate in it and that's not good for dogs...no matter how badly she wants it. Here's the other thing about Fındık: she's fickle. She likes you but she really only loves you when you have food. She sits next to whoever at the table is still eating. I love this dog. So much. I love playing with her, spending time with her, scratching her behind the ear just like she likes, you name it. Sometimes I fall asleep on my bed while still scratching her sleeping on the floor next to me. It's LOVE.
So, this morning, I was the last one eating my breakfast and of course, Fındık comes on over to tell me how much she loves me and wants my food and it HIT me! This is exactly like our relationship with God, so often! How many times in my life have I ignored God until I wanted something? Then it's all "Oh God, I LOVE You!!! You're the best God ever! I love love love You, always did, You knew that right? So I have a favor to ask. There's this big test I'm about to take and I REALLY need to ace it, can ya do that for me? I'll love You forever, promise! This time, I really mean it!" and if I do get it, I say "Yesssss! Thanks God" and then forget about Him a minute later to go enjoy whatever I just received. So just like when I DO give Fındık a piece of bread (no nutella, don't worry), and she worships the bread and forgets about me, I do the same to God. OR, if I don't give her bread and she get's all indignant on me because she thinks I'm punishing her by not giving her everything she wants at any moment.
So I have two main points to all of this: 1) Love God first. Love Him always, even when He's not giving you something at the time. Don't be fickle with your love because you're not fooling Him (and neither am I). Thank Him and MEAN IT when He does give you something because He didn't have to and He did it because He loves you. 2) If we don't get what we want, God has a good reason for it. He knows what's best for us way better than we do. As much as I love Fındık, God loves us waaaaay more and I love giving her treats but I also know when it's gonna make her sick or hurt her somehow. In the same way, God knows what's good and bad for us and protects us, even when it feels like He's holding stuff back from us. 3) Lastly, after you've thanked God for whatever He did (and yes, you may not realize it and sometimes I don't either but He made it happen for ya), don't forget about Him again and go back to "normal life". I love when Fındık loves me for me and not what I give her. God's the same. Love Him for who He is and ALSO because of all the stuff He gives us.
So this is probably going to be one of the hardest blog posts I'll put up because it's my story. I figure if anyone reads this, they should know who's saying it and why. This isn't gonna be the 3-minute version I'd tell someone on a train ride or something, it's the real deal, the extended edition. I promise all my posts won't be this long. Hang with me! Aight, here goes...
I was born and raised into a well-off family in the suburbs of Westchester, NY. Actually, we call ourselves upper-middle class but by the world's standards, we were rich. My family, like many many in Westchester and especially in the small village of Briarcliff Manor, was Jewish. I went to Hebrew School from 7 years old until I was 13 after having a Bat Mitzvah. Judaism was very much of cultural importance to my family (myself included) but the faith aspect was far less important. I remember when I was 10 years old and my Oma (gramma) got sick. I remember not knowing the Hebrew prayer for a sick person and praying all the prayers I DID know (prayers for bread, wine, etc). I felt so completely helpless and I hated it. I just hoped that God understood my heart even if I didn't know the right words.
I can't remember when exactly but sometime probably around 12 years old, I stopped believing in God. I loved being an atheist. It felt wonderfully rebellious, plus all my friends at school were becoming atheists too. The thing was, I lived in a town too rich, too smart, too cultured to need, or even believe in something as naive and outdated like a god.
High School's when the depression started setting in. I started hating myself. I had no motivation to do anything. Working towards something felt useless since there was nothing I wanted to do. Nothing I could think of seemed worthy enough of my desire or focus. There was no point to life. That's when I started torturing myself in the least noticeable ways possible. I ate as little as possible, only when it would be suspicious otherwise. It had nothing to do with body image, it was about hurting myself. I also set my alarm to go off every hour or so throughout the night so I couldn't get a full night's sleep. My point is, I was at rock bottom. At least I thought I was
In 10th grade, I started drinking and dealing pot. I didn't do either very often, it was more of a hobby than a job. I just enjoyed the risk of it.
In 11th grade, I officially wanted to die. That's when I finally prayed...if that's what you'd call it. The prayer went something like this "God, if there's really even a God, which I'm pretty sure there isn't. But God, or Allah, or Buddha, or whoever, I don't wanna live anymore. I want you to take my life so I don't hafta do it. Gimme some disease like cancer or something. But if you haven't done it by the time I get to college, I'll hafta do it myself. Umm...amen."
That summer, I went to Holland for 10 days to play soccer. I played with other girls from all over the United States including a girl named Jordan from North Carolina. After Holland, Jordan and I kept in close contact. She was the first Christian I'd ever met. We talked (argued) a lot about Christianity. I'd ask her tons of questions about evolution, homosexuality (I'd always been a big supporter), sin, and she'd answer patiently and then I'd tell her she was insane. About a month after Holland, I bought a Bible. I had zero intention of becoming a Christian but it was all so important to her (and she was now my best friend) and I wanted to understand what was important to her. Of course, I started at Genesis 1.
Senior year was passing by and my deadline was quickly approaching. On Martin Luther King Day weekend, I went down to NC to visit. I can't remember the context of the statement but I remember Jordan saying "I think that Christians are the happiest people in the world," to which I responded "Yea, well you've always been a Christian so how would you know? Maybe I'm the happiest person in the world." But inside I was thinking "man, I could really go for a bit of happiness." We kept talking the rest of the year and I asked her questions about everything. Why did Jesus need to be crucified? What about the dinosaurs? How can being gay be a sin if they're born that way?
At the beginning of the summer between my senior year and the year I was supposed to start at Syracuse University, I was sitting listening to the song Jesus, Take The Wheel by Carrie Underwood. The chorus goes something like this: Jesus, take the wheel Take it from my hands Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go So give me one more chance To save me from this road I'm on Jesus, take the wheel Sitting there, it sounded amazingly appealing. Jesus would just take the wheel. He'd run my life and He was supposed to be God, right? He would do it right and make me happy. So I called Jordan and said I wanted Jesus. She was beyond excited for me. She was staying with her grandparents that weekend and ran to them to tell them. I remember hearing her grampa pray out loud for me and her gramma crying. I couldn't believe it, I'd only met them once for like 20 minutes and they actually cared. I didn't get why it was a big deal to them but I was still happy that they were happy for me. So there was no reason for me to kill myself anymore because I had Jesus now and life would always be happy...
Except it wasn't. I got to school and started feeling depressed again soon. I had doubts in Jesus and God and began remembering old thoughts about being too smart to believe in nonsense like a resurrection or that people were even sinful. People were just people. I didn't wanna tell Jordan that I was having doubts because I didn't want her to be disappointed. She told me that there was a Campus Crusade for Christ on my campus and I should go there. I told her I would (but really I thought it sounded like a creepy cult and thought I'd go there once and tell her it was). So I went and I met a lotta nice people there. We went out for dinner after the meeting and I told some people at my table that I was Jewish and not sure about all this Jesus stuff. This girl Kim asked me if I wanted to meet up and talk about it and I agreed. A month later, I got convinced to go on a retreat.
One night we were singing Mighty To Save by Hillsong and I sat down and prayed, "God, I don't know about all this. If this is real, if You're real, if Jesus is real, I need a sign. God, I'm a science person and I don't like all this 'by faith alone' stuff. I need something tangible. I need proof." And the next second I felt something. This something is the hardest thing I ever have to describe. God hugged me. Imagine love being a tangible item. Like if you could create a blanket made out of a real, physical, tangible love, that's what I felt. That's the best I know how to describe it.
Life wasn't perfect after I accepted Christ. I still had difficulties and I still do. But I have a greater strength now. I don't try and drive my own life. God does that for me. Knowing the power and strength and especially the love of God brings me to my knees in praise (both figuratively and even literally). He has rescued me and THAT is why I want to live for HIM everyday of my life.
